This little pyggie went to market...

There was a Greek artist named Pygmalion who decided that he was perfectly happy without women in his world.

Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
whenever you're with them you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
~Of course not~
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
~Nonsense~
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
~Never.~
Why can't a woman be like you?

One day he came across a huge chunk of ivory (cause those are so common just to find on the streets) and thought wow, this is a really big chunk of ivory. I think I'll make a woman out of this common thing.

You see this creature with Kerbside English; the English that will keep her in the gutter til the end of her days? Well sir in six months I could pass her off as a duchess at an embassy ball. I could even get her a place as a lady's maid or shop assistant, which requires better English.


So he worked really hard and when he got the finished product it was absolutely beautiful.

Her English is too good, he said, which cleary indicates she's foreign.
Whereas others are instructed in their native language
English people aren.
And although she may have studied with an expert
Di'lectician and grammarian
I can tell that she was born Hungarian!
And not only Hungarian, but of royal blood. She's a princess!

So beautiful in fact, that he fell in love with it.

But I'm so used to hear her say
Good morning every day.
Her joys, her woes,
Her highs, her lows
Are second nature to me now,
Like breathing out and breathing in
I'm very grateful she's a woman
And so easy to forget
Rather like a habit
One can always break -- and yet
Ive grown accustomed to the trace
Of something in the air;
Accustomed to her face.

So he prayed and prayed about what to do about his newfound dillema and finally Aphrodite got sick of his bitching and came down to see this statue that was supposedly so wonderful.
Well when she got there she just about fell over laughing because it was a human-sized replica of the goddess herself. So to repay him for the amusement she got out of that sight (and to make him shut the hell up) she turned the statue into a living woman (-Cut to the Disney movie- "You ARE a real boy!") and Pygmalian lived happily ever after and thanked aphrodite every day for his love.

(If he could but let himself, his face would radiate unmistakable relief and joy. If he could but let himself, he would run to her.)